The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
