What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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