I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
