I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Randomize
