I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize