I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
