If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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