I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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