Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
