Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
