i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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