Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
