Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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