I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
