Apparently you make a good broom.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
