He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
