How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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