Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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