Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
