she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
