what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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