I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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