just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
