thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Randomize
