there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
