i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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