This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Do vagina's smell?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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