is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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