Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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