nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
