So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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