Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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