One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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