I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
