Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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