She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
