She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
