idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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