So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
