We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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