I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
