Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
