My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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