Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Randomize
