Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
how does that bad decision feel?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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