And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
