you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
