FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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