Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
