That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
