I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
