Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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