I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
