just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
