no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
