4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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