Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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