Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
