Its about making memories worth repressing
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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