If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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