PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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