i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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