he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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