Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
