the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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