tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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