well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
