working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm always down for nudity.
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