It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
