Do you still have your period?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
