You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i now understand why vodka
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
