Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
