Buhtt sex?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
