I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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