Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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