ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
