you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
