tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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