At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
