how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
